Birthdays,buddies. and bullies

Today is my oldest boy's birthday... Ten years old. Hard to believe we are double digits now. I honestly don't know why God chose me to be his mom. He makes me laugh. He makes me cry and some days he makes me crazy but if he was any different i could not love him so. I am amazed at how hard he can work. I know school is hard for him but (most)days he works really hard and is learning so much. He is just like his father though...trying to get a laugh but not exactly sure when is the time to do that. So he will get in trouble at school some days...just like any kid. But just any kid doesn't stroke your hair and smile at you with the most honest smile, kiss you on the lips, and tell you he loves you...everyday...and sometimes more.



I feel blessed he is at Samuel's school this year. Not only is it convenient for me...he has made so many friends. He has been invited to two birthday parties this year. He and Samuel are having a joint party this year and a sleepover. I could have only imagined that would have happened looking ahead ten years ago. Today he went to his first playdate from school...riding a different bus with his buddy. That is amazing. His buddy is really really amazing too. His teacher told him once not to feel like he only had to play with Ben on the playground...he responded as if he was shocked that she would ask such a thing. He said...he is MY friend... I want to play with him.

It's great he has so many buddies. But this year we had to face the inevitable...a bully. It appears that on the playground a couple of kids had been picking on Benjamin by asking him ridiculous questions that they knew he could only answer yes. Apparently Bub's buddies found Samuel and they went to the teacher. It seems they stopped the bullying. Makes you want to cry to think that someone would try to trick him like that. But I know it will happen. I have to pray that God will protect him. By the way...their parents were told and I don't think it will happen again. BUT for now it is just dealing with the fact it happened so early... I guess kids can be mean anytime. But it was a life lesson for Samuel especially and really for all of us. It is going to happen. That is just the hard truth. How we respond is the real test.


So anyways...back to birthdays..today is my big boy's birthday and I have never been more proud, in love, and honored than I feel today. He truly amazes me everyday. Happy birthday Bubs!

I Cor 1:27... But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put shame to the wise and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.

Mr. Incredible

Bubs has had quite the obsession with The Incredibles movie lately. It seems to have taken the place of the Spiderman obsession and the Toy Story obsession. When Bubs goes through his craze he watches the movie repeatedly and "pretends" he is that character. So right now in his mind he IS Mr. Incredible. It really is funny to see your almost ten year old dressed in his Mr.Incredible suit trying to jump off your sofas. Today he woke up and put the suit on over his pjs and was certain I would let him wear it to school. Sorry buddy. The only good news is that when he fights me on eating I can tell him it will make him strong like Mr.Incredible. Too bad it di dnot work with broccoli at dinner but by the way...it is seven oclock and he is watching The Incredibles...in his suit.

Now I must add that we do not let the obsessions rule his life...but it is just one of the many things that makes my Bubs unique and it makes me smile...

Hard lessons

We are all learning new things all the time. My kids learn new things all the time. Gracie recently learned to write her name with ALL the letters. Samuel has been learning to play on a basketball team for the first time. And Bubs is learning new things at school every day from how to read to finding all seven continents.

Sometimes I wish these simple lessons were all I had to learn. God sometimes uses really hard things to teach us lessons. Just recently a dear friend was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I keep looking to find a lesson to be learned from it. Why else would a 35 year old father of three have to go through this?

Here's a few things I have been thinking...

Sometimes God allows hard lessons so that we can learn to depend on Him. If the troubles cause dependency on Him then it's worth thanking Him for.

Enduring trials can bring patience. Psalm 119:17 says, "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart."

When you praise God through the hard lessons it brings Him glory. He allows the hard lessons so He can be glorified through them.

God allows the hard lessons to happen because of the curse of sin. We can only take hope in the worst lessons that one day God will undo all of it. I can thank God that one day He will make it all different.

I guess sometimes we may never understand the reason for the hard lessons. But we can understand that God is sovereign and bigger than any of us. God loves us no matter the trial we are in...He sent His only son for us...if that' not love...what is???

Real faith isn't receiving from God what we want, it's accepting what He gives. Maybe we never will understand the "hard" lessons.

So...I can't rationalize why my friend has cancer...and I don't like it...it is what I think about in the morning and when I go to bed. I think about their heartache and it makes me hurt. I think about his wife and I want to cry thinking about how difficult all this is for her...and I am not near her to give her a hug and help with her kids. I think about her kids...wondering how they are going to understand all this. I think about my dear friend and I have cried out to God to heal him. But truly all that brings me comfort is that I do know that God is good and faithful and so we have to thank Him and praise Him anyway. Even with the "hard" lessons.

Merry Christmas!

I love this time of year...it brings all things fun and exciting. I found this poem...about sums it up!

For All Warm Things" by Marjorie Holmes

For all warm things of this season I thank you, Lord.

For the warmth of my kitchen as I turn on the oven and sift and measure and stir and bake.

For the snug warmth of the bedrooms where (finally, after much commotion) my children sleep.

For the warmth of this cup of steaming coffee in my hand as I settle down (exhausted, and at last) before the fire that dances so warm and festive on the grate.

And for warm clothes, Lord. These slippers, this robe - all the untidy closets bursting.

That car coat tossed across a chair.

And the car itself; a warm car to take us places (once we get it started).

And those warm places: the homes of neighbors, friends, a warm church to worship in.And the warm people there. The warm smiles and greetings. The generosity and kindness of people everywhere.

I am full of this warmth, Lord. It comforts me, it calms me. It makes me feel a glow almost as rosy as the embers in the fireplace.

I want all people to be warm and rested and at peace.Thank you for this blessed season of warmth in the midst of so much that is chill and stormy. Let it draw all of us together against the coming cold.

and to add

Thank you Lord for the birth of my Savior that night. He has given me life and all these wonderful blessings I do not deserve. Let me not forget... He is truly the reason for this season.

Visit with Santa

Well it seems that every year I post about the kids visit with Santa. It always is interesting to see just how they have grown from year to year and what it says about their little personalities. This year was no different.

It seems that Samuel now really does NOT believe in Santa. It's sort of a bittersweet thing. We decided in our house that we would never really PLAY up the story of Santa but wouldn't discourage the belief either. We "do" Santa but have never allowed it to take importance over the birth of our Savior. But...somehow it just was too hard not to let the kids enjoy that part of the "magic!" The one thing we did say is that if they ever asked us "IS SANTA REAL?" We would not lie. Well...a few months back, Samuel asked that very question and also added, "Tell me mom...yes or no!" Well you can't lie about that...

So..anyways Samuel was not as happy about the visit as the other two. Being the shy kid he is he didn't really think it was so necessary to stand in front of a large group of people and tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas. ( in a microphone) none the less. So he went but had asked if he could stay with us rather than take the picture this year. Unfortunately Mom and Dad won on that one. He had to go up there. Otherwise the other two would wonder what's up!

So...he went and did go tell Samuel what he wanted very very sheepishly. A Nintendo DS...think Santa might bring that this year. He has asked for that for two years now.

Gracie went next...she was really scared (and excited). Santa's snow princess was so exciting she just burst into tears when she asked her name. Then after the princess gave her a "snowflake for courage" she was a big girl. She walked right up to Santa and told him she wanted a BARBIE dress. I was very proud of her...she overcame her fear and took a beautiful picture.

Now Bubs has always loved Santa. He's never been afraid and honestly I wonder if he might not ever stop loving the man in the red suit. He always sits with him. His only concern was why we wanted him to get in Gracie's picture with the Snow Princess. He burst into tears and yelled "HO HO!" I guess he thought she was a subsitute. When he made it to Santa he was all smiles and proudly told him he wantedt the movie CARS 2. After a hug he was done.

I know the years of sitting with Santa are numbered. I don't really want to be that mom that makes my teenagers sit on his knee but it really is a part of childhood I will truly remember..

Glimpses of Heaven

Somedays are just bad days...I am not always the put together mom with a kid with a disability. Somedays there isn't enough patience. The other day was one of those days.

It had already been a long day. A pop up storm had caused me to stop what I was doing mid way through and throw Gracie in the car to head to school to get Bubs...knowing he wouldn't want to get on the bus in the rain. He didn't want to walk in the rain to the car but finally got there.

Came home and tried to get some homework done. Knowing he would be stressed with the rain outside I had closed the blinds and hoped he couldn't really hear the rain outside. Made him sit down when I could tell that he was stressed out beyond measure...realizing that at some point he had wet his pants went and helped him get changed. He can do this by himself but in the midst of a storm he refuses to go upstairs to get his clothes.

Finally we sat again to do the Math...same same thing we had been doing for days. All of sudden he couldn't remember how to do it...just don't know where it goes sometimes...as you can imagine after about three to four problems like this I was quickly losing patience. Looked right at him and said something I would never have thought I would say to him... "why is this so hard for you???"

Immediately I knew I had sinned in a way I never thought I would have. I broke his little heart in half I think. He looked at me....big crocodile tears streaming...my eyes welled up and then he held out those little stubby arms to hug me. Almost still brings me to tears to think of it...I hurt him and he wanted to love me even still. How does he do that??? How does he mirror the Heavenly Father in his unconditional love for us?? How many times do we do things that we wouldn't have thought we would have done to hurt our Father and he still holds out His arms to love us with an unconditional love.

It's those glimpses of Heaven I take for granted in my often crazy life...thank God for the reminder...

Blessed...

in so many ways. My Bible Study lately has been concentrating on contentment. Believe me I am not there yet. Not full contentment at least but I am trying to really focus on the blessings God gives us in this life. The study suggests to keep track of your blessings and attempt to not complain or gripe for one week. Can I do it? I guess it's worth a try by God's grace. Here's some things to be thankful for...

Benjamin's laugh
Samuel's sensitive spirit
Gracie's ability to make me smile
My husband...too much to say here
My wonderful friends...here and there...you are all wonderful to me. Even if we don't see each other much.
My church
My lovely home
My kids school
so much more to say here...I will write more later...