Random thoughts...on being a mom...

Another year of being a mom. Another year of learning. Another year of making mistakes. And another year of God's grace. I feel like as a mom I take two steps forward with two steps going back. Just when I figure my kids out...God changes them and I have to change how I parent them. They are growing up so fast and doing so many new things. New accomplishments and new worries and challenges. Of course my kids are not hard to love but I have to love them all differently...they need me in different ways. Recently I realized that I had not given Samuel enough attention. Sometimes the other two demand much more of my time that I did not even realize that he needed more of me. It broke me. I guess you feel pretty much like a loser if you have to hear your kid tell you that one. So I make mistakes and have to ask them to forgive me. I can lose my temper and want to be left alone some days. I wish my mom could see her grandkids and I am angry she is not here to give me advice. I pray that despite my shortcomings God somehow uses me in the lives of my kids. That He points them to Him through me. That somehow despite all my weaknesses they grow to love Him as their savior because of the testimony of my life. Being a mom is what I have always wanted to do. It is a hard job but I am thankful God gave me three beautiful kids to raise for Him. Hope He gives me the ability to do it for Him.